i wonder if i could get fat from elsewhere in my body injected into the dips so i could have more attractive hips.

the dips are there at both my high weight and low weight, so i think its just my thighs being large. i could get some fat from my thighs and put it in the dips, maybe.

i am still seeing improvement in my weight. i’m trying my best to keep hydrated, but it is difficult. i ate a bit of strawberry chobani this morning with 21oz of cold cucumber lemon water. 

i want to look like this.

this fourth bottle is going to be painful

no cigarette until the fourth bottle is fully swallowed

i don’t care if i puke
i’ll get another bottle
puking the water up makes it so it doesn’t count.

three down, one to go

here’s my favorite picture

i made it my background on formspring to remind me.

in all i’ll have ingested 2 full liters of water in less than an hour.
it will make me pure.
sleeping with no blankets tonight.
its cold down in the basement.
i’ll freeze off the fat

i already have goosebumps
goosebumps and a swollen belly
see that, nicole? that’s what happens if you eat.
swollen, swollen belly.
do you want that?
no, no, you want the stomach like you had three years ago
gained 50 pounds since then
lost 30 of that this year
losing 30 more by july.

july, july.
it’s so painful.
i need to pee.
but i can’t.
i need to let the water purify my filthy insides.

just two more gulps.
two or three.

almost threw it up
almost
gulped it back down
this’ll teach me

one more gulp
i feel like i’m going to cry

but it’ll be worth it
i have no tears left anyway
come on, tears, tear through me.
oh yeah, you left years ago.

half a gulp
i can do this
if i can do this i can lose 30 pounds by july

i can do this


FINALLY.
2L of water in less than an hour.
i did it.
i can lose this weight.
now it’s time for a cigarette.

my stomach hurts so bad, but i’ll be beautiful someday.

my hipbones jut right out when i lose weight.
i love my hipbones and i wish they’d hurry up coming back